Asexuality Exists

asexualhelp:

lets do some basic vocabulary and key words to help you identify yourself!

there is something called the “asexual spectrum” many different sexualities fit under this umbrella term aside from asexuality, like demisexuality. many asexuals do not approve of the term “asexual spectrum.” this is because other sexualities stand alone, but asexuality is expected to have a spectrum because it is “different.” using the term however is a simple way to address sexualities that are somewhat similar to asexuality, and i find it fitting in this situation to call sexualities by an “asexual spectrum” and a “sexual spectrum” for simplicitys sake.

the “asexual spectrum” is basically defined by asexuality. which is, “the lack of sexual attraction.” certain sexualities that are technically under the “asexual spectrum” do not entirely fit this definition, however the fit it more closely than they would under the sexual spectrum. for example, gray/grey asexuality is used for a person who doesnt usually feel sexual attraction, but may feel it under very specific circumstances. gray asexuality is often regarded as the “middle ground” between the asexual spectrum and the sexual spectrum.

so as said earlier, asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction. there are other terms that may go hand in hand with asexuality such as nonlibidoism or aromantic.

nonlibidoism means that you lack sex drive. some asexuals, if they feel this, dont tack it onto the end of the orientation because they find asexuality sums them up well enough. while others find that adding this term onto their orientation explains them even better.

some asexuals do experience a sex drive but it is so low that its ignorable or they dont feel it at all. this is nonlibidoism. it often gets confused between sexual attraction, but sex drive is indeed different.

think of it this way. you may not experience an attraction to any real world people to cuddle or hold hands or whatever the case, but perhaps in your mind they are very appealing things. you may even fantasize about doing these things with fictional characters or within fictional circumstances, but when it comes to real world interaction, it loses its appeal. that can also be applied to sexual attraction. may asexuals fantasize about sex or have sex dreams (most often these dreams are about fictional characters or if they are with real people, many asexuals said they found the sex in the dream to be severely disappointing.) however when it comes to a real life scenario, the attraction simply isnt there.

the drive is the desire to act on something. some asexuals may masturbate because they still have a sex drive, but they dont feel sexual attraction to other people. so in short, they may desire the feeling of sex, but not feel the desire to experience sex with others. nonlibidoism is simple in that people who masturbate are not nonlibidoist. people who do not matsturbate, are.

aromantic means the person does not feel romantic attraction. similar to the example i gave earlier, they may fantasize about romantic situations, but not find the attraction there in a real world situation. aromantics are capable of feeling sensual and aesthetic attraction still and im sure there are many aromantics who are not asexual !

arousal is different from all these other terms!!! if you have had a sudden loss of arousal or have never experienced arousal, speak to a health care professional. it is not always an issue, but in some cases it can mean there are other health problems so try to seek help just to be safe.

arousal is often described as a “tingly” feeling of or around the genitals. in some cases, it may throb or even begin to become sore. many asexuals feel arousal randomly. for example, if they are driving or watching a movie or playing a game, whenever! its normal to feel this and there is nothing wrong.

autosexual is directed at asexuals who do masturbate. this is a term that means you do get “turned on” by people (in a way) but it is only at the thought of yourself. meaning that you find your own body and self arousing, but not other people. an autosexual activity, is masturbation as it can also mean “someone who has sex with oneself.”

demisexuality is a term used to describe people who feel sexual attraction and drive, but only after a strong bond has been formed with a certain individual. there are some arguments sprung from this term as many people on the sexual spectrum feel it invalidates their feelings. However, demisexuality describes people who may ONLY experience these feelings under these very specific circumstances whereas sexual people may feel (however fleeting the emotion is) sexual attraction and drive towards other people in any situation. that is not to say that they feel it at all times, but it is POSSIBLE for them to feel it much more often than it is for a demisexual.

antisexual is a term that is DIFFERENT from all these other terms and is NOT synonymous with asexual. antisexual means that the person believes sexuality and sex are wrong and should be avoided. antisexual is a belief, not an orientation.

sex repulsed means that an individual may feel repulsion by the thought of sex, or seeing sexual activity. it is very normal and not something to feel shame for. sex repulsion is not the same as antisexual. antisexual is a belief while sex repulsion is an automatic response. sex repulsed individuals may feel uncomfortable by sex, but it does not mean they are against sex positivity or sexuality.

sex positivity is an idea that sex is a thing that many people enjoy and that people should not be shamed for their frequency or infrequency of having or enjoying sex. sex positivity is about respecting others for their sexuality (whether it be of a sexual or asexual nature) and their choices as individuals. sex positivity is an ideal many asexuals stand behind, even if they are sex repulsed themselves.

celibacy and sexual abstinence are not related to asexuality as these are a choice to abstain from sex. asexuality is not a choice, but an orientation and also does not necessarily mean the individual will not be having sex.

romantic orientations are sometimes used by asexuals to let people know the gender(s) they are potentially romantically interested in. aromantic is a romantic orientation. other romantic orientations include heteroromantic (romantic attraction to the opposite gender or sex,) homoromantic (romantic attraction to the same gender or sex,) biromantic (romantic attraction to male and female gender or sex,) polyromantic (romantic attraction to some but not all genders or sexes,) panromantic (romantic attraction to all genders and sexes)

i think thats about it i hope i explained everything well enough and thanks for reading!!

- b